So much has changed in the recent months, and as such I am sometimes at a loss to understand where I am going in the world. Where I am going, it is such an enigma, but it seems that I can not escape it.

In the recent days it seems that I have changed, and remade my mind so often that it almost seems stupid to do otherwise. It is strange though, I want to be happy, but at the same time is seems almost impossible to find what truly is going to make me happy.

What is happiness, but a state of elation that purely resides in your mind?

Do I want to be happy at all? Well I would have to say yes, everyone wants to be happy, it is just one of those things that everyone wants. And I am going to want it as well.

It is strange how I just referred to happiness, in the future tense, it is me, or am I trying to tell myself that I am not happy right now. Christ! I am complicated. There is so much that want to say at times, but it seems that more often than not I do not have the works to say them.

Like with things in my relationships with friends, and family...and people more than that.

Within my present, past, and future I have known all three, and it seems that I have not really learned from my past mistakes. I know that I can not change everything that has happened, or anything that may happen, but who am I to not wish otherwise.

I could honestly scream in fustration about how sopradic my thoughts have become in the recent weeks, I can hardly look at something without seeming to have a blank thought of some sort. I it is starting to get a little much even for me.

So I suppose that now would be a good a time as any to bid you all adieu and go one about the days of my life......

Complicated, or not.