What am I to say for the hundreth time in my life when it comes to this boy, (yes, I said boy) at one point or another I have to say that he is infuriating me and well, there is nothing that I can do about it. I blatanly refuse to be that "girl" that is always around "him" and has nothing else better to do with their time. Because I do, I have to learn to put my foot down and not be so fucking accomodating.

And I know that there are more choice words than accomodating, but I am not going to go to that level and admit to it. That in itself would make me patheic, even compared to "Welches"

At times I think that I am asking for too much, and then the other half of the time I am more than positive that I am not asking for enough out of this boy.

I am such a girl and I know that I constantly let him take advantage of that. The worst thing is that I used to be so on top of this guy and I would never have to ever deal with anything when it came to him. I got what I wanted, when I wanted it, and there were not many questions.

Now I am  in this bizzare boundary where I am awsome to have eveywhere else, but in public. I like the public, I like letting the world know that I am not easy and that it is simply a privilage to be in my company, I know that I would be blowing things out of proportion but I really don't care. I am no one's fuck buddy unless I say so, and I am not going to get played by anyone.

Not in this day and age. And certainly not by somone that I have taken back.